I just need a place to voice out my thoughts. Some place no one actually knows about.
Yes, I know I have been distracted. To the extent that I have not been spending quality time with God, forgetting things, not doing all I am meant to do on time. I need to buck up. I need to fix my eyes on the prize and not waver.
Sometimes it's all easier said than done.
Our carnality is appalling.
I think I have really come to the full comprehension when one says the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Oh Lord, my flesh is so weak.
I never thought I would lose it this badly, especially since it deals with matters of the heart.
I once wrote somewhere I thought love would just happen. You meet a guy, fall in love, go out, get married, have kids and live happily ever after.
When I got to Melbourne, they starting teaching me what the right way to go around things was. It didn't really sink in at that point, I just wasn't interested.
He isn't the first person I actually liked over here. Initially, I thought I liked someone else. I spent a lot of time with that someone else, watched movies, hung out. Honestly if you ask me, I don't think it was a crush. It was more of spending excessive time with each other. But as it helped me de-stress, it worked. Then one day, God asked me if I could give it up, and I said well.. ok. And I did. Then someone else came along.
Well, he didn't really just come along as he had been around for more than one and a half years already. I just never really noticed him that much. I just realized that actually, all that while, he had been in my care group.
I don't really know how it happened. It just worked out that one day I took a step back and discovered I actually liked the guy. And I liked the guy a lot. Then came the confessions that had to be made.. and in some sense.. that's when the problems started.
We need to do things right you see.
And try as hard as I might, it really has been a case of it's much easier said than actually done.
Right now I'm writing all this down because I still want to do what is right before God. If this is really meant to be, I want to do it right as well. God seems to be telling me that it is right.
Have you thought of it this way that all your life, in little tiny ways, God actually prepares you for that special person you are meant to be a companion to. Your character, your values, your personality, your gifts and talents. He moulds you because you were made to complement one other person on the earth. And He made you special to fulfill that role.
The 2 words I got were love and companion.
We are not meant to make each other complete, we are meant to be companions.
We are allowed to love, so that we can comprehend God's great love for us. And as we love each other, we should also be learning to love God more.
God.. please speak to me, please speak to him.. and help me work things out.. in accordance to Your pleasing, perfect will.
Yes, I know I have been distracted. To the extent that I have not been spending quality time with God, forgetting things, not doing all I am meant to do on time. I need to buck up. I need to fix my eyes on the prize and not waver.
Sometimes it's all easier said than done.
Our carnality is appalling.
I think I have really come to the full comprehension when one says the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Oh Lord, my flesh is so weak.
I never thought I would lose it this badly, especially since it deals with matters of the heart.
I once wrote somewhere I thought love would just happen. You meet a guy, fall in love, go out, get married, have kids and live happily ever after.
When I got to Melbourne, they starting teaching me what the right way to go around things was. It didn't really sink in at that point, I just wasn't interested.
He isn't the first person I actually liked over here. Initially, I thought I liked someone else. I spent a lot of time with that someone else, watched movies, hung out. Honestly if you ask me, I don't think it was a crush. It was more of spending excessive time with each other. But as it helped me de-stress, it worked. Then one day, God asked me if I could give it up, and I said well.. ok. And I did. Then someone else came along.
Well, he didn't really just come along as he had been around for more than one and a half years already. I just never really noticed him that much. I just realized that actually, all that while, he had been in my care group.
I don't really know how it happened. It just worked out that one day I took a step back and discovered I actually liked the guy. And I liked the guy a lot. Then came the confessions that had to be made.. and in some sense.. that's when the problems started.
We need to do things right you see.
And try as hard as I might, it really has been a case of it's much easier said than actually done.
Right now I'm writing all this down because I still want to do what is right before God. If this is really meant to be, I want to do it right as well. God seems to be telling me that it is right.
Have you thought of it this way that all your life, in little tiny ways, God actually prepares you for that special person you are meant to be a companion to. Your character, your values, your personality, your gifts and talents. He moulds you because you were made to complement one other person on the earth. And He made you special to fulfill that role.
The 2 words I got were love and companion.
We are not meant to make each other complete, we are meant to be companions.
We are allowed to love, so that we can comprehend God's great love for us. And as we love each other, we should also be learning to love God more.
God.. please speak to me, please speak to him.. and help me work things out.. in accordance to Your pleasing, perfect will.
posted by Ivy @ 6:33 AM
0 comments
